Goths, I love 'em! I even used to be one for a bit (well, I was a Didi-Goth for at least 6 months). But there's one thing that troubles me about our cheery friends: what to do they do in summer? All that makeup, long black leather and rubber must get very sticky. I think we should show our respect for these poor unfortunates, struggling to stand out from the vanilla crowd despite blazing temperatures and sunshine that puts the rest of us in shorts and vest tops. Join me in celebrating the majesty of the Goth, who, eschewing any practicality whatever, still has the commitment to don a full length leather trenchcoat, stupid New Rock boots, and half a Superdrug counter of makeup. All hail the Hot Goth!


Gothkini

Thanks to Anonymous

Gothiness: 8 Sweatiness: 9 (crotch area only)
Ladieeeeeez! Check out this Goth's cradle of filth! He's all man, and he's waiting to satisfy your every need - poetry, navel gazing, and Terry Pratchett discussion groups with dark sexual chocolate drops on top! Witness the muscular physique! Gasp at the bulging source of his power! Swoon at the bullet belt adorned cowboy boots! This, surely, is every Gothette's onanistic, narcissistic gothboy fantasy!
edit: What do you mean, no?

25 comments:

Mui said...

i laughed so hard coffe went in my nose : cradle of filth... rofl

FJ Sam said...

i haven't laughed this hard in days lmao! thanks for making my day!

Bosanova Bill said...

LOL, I laughed before I even read the text.

Bunny said...

Dear gods i think i just peed myself...

Andy Golding said...

Now THERE'S a David Hasslegoth if ever I saw one! You found the picture. I salute you

Dracenea said...

Ugh no rockabilly for me, thanks.

Lores said...

I am in love!

Catherine said...

Pictures and scenes like this always brighten my day, but not with the light of the Daystar.

Anonymous said...

This makes me hurt all over. But thanks - it is truly brilliant!

Becky said...

Ok, yes, "Cradle of filth" comment, totally hilarious. But dude. This guy clearly isn't a goth. He's a hipster.

Only a shameless hipster would think it was acceptable to wear white sunglasses and pinstripe mankini bottoms.

Shannon said...

I think his hair scares me the most...

Paris Hilton wants her sunglasses back.

Anonymous said...

Oh dude, I'm embarrassed for us both...

Quege said...

Fail :)

Sarah said...

GaaaaaH! My eyeballs!

Renan Birck said...

I was reading this blog in class.

Thanks for making everyone look at me with a strange stare.

But then, I LOLed.

verbaleakage said...

He looks more like the lead singer of a Buck Cherry (possibly LIT?) cover band who washed up on shore after a night playing the Sunset Strip. He just happened to be wearing his cod piece and amo boots under his tight ripped jeans when he took the stage that evening.

Fei said...

oh he's cute

Anonymous said...

GORGEOUS!!!!

gimme some of that...

Alice said...

Uh-oh, are there really goth-filled Terry Pratchett discussion groups somewhere? And do I need to feel even MORE guilty for reading his books? Uh-oh...

Miranda said...

I'm gonna go out on a limb and declare this guy Not Gothic.

Lookit his freakin cowboy boots, and those white shades? oh hell no!

god, my eyes are bleeding.

The Steampunk said...

Seriously, you is a funny dude. You need to write a book or something.

Amy said...

I confused by the Terry Pratchett comment. I wouldn't associate his books with a Goth lifestyle..there is WAY to much humor in his books.

EMTFrey said...

spectacular!

The Steampunk said...

Amy, goths are some of the funniest people on earth! (I mean, just look at THAT guy!) You haven't lived until you've sat around on decatur listening to uber-lifestylers make ridiculous vampire jokes about passerby("Mmmmmm, chinese tonight?" "Eh, you'd just be hungry again in an hour" or "Everyone knows people taste better with garlic!") or rivet-heads wisecracking about how a few guys in their side-project want to get together on a side-project.

I'll keep the jokes light for the blog, but I sure am glad comedy comes in black...

Chrissy said...

I'm going to say he's more of a L.A. Guns revivalist, unfortunately.

Creative Commons License Goths in Hot Weather by Tom Lenham is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Non-Commercial-No Derivative Works 2.0 UK: England & Wales License. Based on a work at http://www.gothsinhotweather.com/. All other territories © Tom Lenham, all rights reserved.