David HassleGoth

Thanks to Kathrin Hieronimus

Gothiness: 8 Sweatiness: 4
An ordinary poolside scene; children playing, mothers chatting, old men hanging around in the bushes looking out of breath - but hang on, what the Dave Vanian is that? Goth ahoy!

the Goths on the bus go down down down

Thanks to Jaimz Asmundson

Goths! On The Bus! from Jaimz Asmundson on Vimeo.

Gothiness: 6 Sweatiness: 8

Jaimz here has channelled Bela Lugosi to great effect - a simple tale of two DoucheGoths on their way to the mall (or 'shops' as I like to call them), but the subtext! Oh the subtext! Pain, suffering, eternal damnation wrapped in velvety angst. I am Goth; Hear me Roar.

Davros Goth

Thanks to: Geraint Edwards

Gothiness: 8 Sweatiness: 9 bottom half, 5 top half
Auditioning for the new Goth Dr Who turned out to be only a partial success for this Goth. Told he was to be the new leader of the Goth Daleks, did he get the requisite studded metal bottom on wheels? Did he buffalo. No, he got a whole load of Immobility Sand for an arse and he's stranded in the bloody sunshine with half his body exposed to the Daystar so that he explodes like that chap in Blade.
I think we can all see how he feels about it.

Desert Island Goth

Thanks to: Shy Spades

Gothiness: 9 Sweatiness: 9

Happy talkie talkie, Happy Talk! Or perhaps not. Either way, someone's not making a campfire and certainly not looking for Man Friday, not when every day is like Sunday now. No more releasing the bats, no more sitting around watching Suspiria by candlelight. Just endless sunshine and sand. Ugh.

Pumping Goth

Thanks to Noelle McCleaf

Gothiness: 5 Sweatiness: 8
Check out those 68 Guns! These bad boys are just limbering up for a heavy poetry session, presumably involving lengthy discourses on the inner workings of their souls and how ladiee Goths should have the pleasure of their company. What a pair of rhyming couplets!

Goth Ahoy

Thanks to Stephanie Ford and Tommy B

Gothiness: 8 Sweatiness: 2
Avast ye! What lurks in yonder waves? 'Tis the Great Black Whale! Set a course for Martha's Harbour this instant! Their timbers may be shivering, but Nick Cave and Winona Ryder here are certainly flying the flag for Goth sailors everywhere.

Between a Rock and a Goth Place

Thanks to Amanda Martin

Gothiness: 5 Sweatiness: 8
Amanda writes "Here is a picture of my brother. Make fun of him."
Too easy a target, from the 18 hole DMs right up to the mohawk-crop circa 1992, not to mention the fact you're on a BEACH. I open the floor to you, dear reader. Do your worst!

Birthday Goth

Gothiness: 9 Sweatiness: 7

Birthday Goth and her boyfriend here were kind enough to actually pose when I accosted them in Whitby Beach, spiritual home of the Goth. A big expanse of beach, bright sunshine, donkey rides, everyone else in t-shirts, and these two don't just Goth out, they even have the attention to detail to make sure their plastic bags are black and purple! It takes a lot of work to find a shop that hands out purple plastic bags - fine work Gothette. She even represents when paddling. Mind you, the North Sea is bloody freezing.

Goth like an Egyptian

Thanks to Mark Rimbach

Gothiness: 5 Sweatiness: 10
I know it's the 80's Mark, but you're in EGYPT. Wearing a LEATHER JACKET. I'm proud of you.

Dirty Gothy

Thanks to: Madam Zebra www.madamzebra.net



Gothiness: 10 Sweatiness: 9.9

I know what you're thinking. "Did he fire six shots or only five?" Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Gothnum, the most powerful Gothgun in the world, and would turn your head into a black moth, you've got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, steampunk?

Give it up for Clint Gothwood. In a top hat.

Gothkini

Thanks to Anonymous

Gothiness: 8 Sweatiness: 9 (crotch area only)
Ladieeeeeez! Check out this Goth's cradle of filth! He's all man, and he's waiting to satisfy your every need - poetry, navel gazing, and Terry Pratchett discussion groups with dark sexual chocolate drops on top! Witness the muscular physique! Gasp at the bulging source of his power! Swoon at the bullet belt adorned cowboy boots! This, surely, is every Gothette's onanistic, narcissistic gothboy fantasy!
edit: What do you mean, no?

AcoustiGoth

Thanks to Mark Aaron James

Like a latter day Bryan Adams, Mark has just released the blockbuster tune of the Summer. Can't quite see them playing it at Underworld, but I for one will be standing outside Camden Town station, holding a ghetto blaster aloft, with this blaring out at top volume. Just like in 'Say Anything'.

Hunk O' Burnin' Goth

Thanks to Trance Kat

Gothiness: 8 Sweatiness: 10
Lord a'mighty, feel his temperature rise! This crazy Kat has chosen to do an impersonation of Keanu Reeves in the middle of a desert. That's wrong on many levels. Note the classic 'Jesus' pose favoured by many a full-length Goth, accentuating their sacrifice - they have suffered so that we may giggle.

Tails of Woe

Thanks to Stuart Graves

Gothiness: 7 Sweatiness: 8
Where to begin with young Stuart here: Robert Smith meets Ducky from Pretty in Pink - we've all been there, Stuart - it's just that most of us realised our error before getting photographed. Well done for braving a fine Summer evening in those winkle-pickers though, I'm sure no-one at the end of term ball would fuck with you in those bad boys, for fear of your sweaty socks alone!

And Now For Something Completely Goth

Thanks to O LVR

Gothiness: 6 Sweatiness: 8
Like a Dark Cowboy version of John Cleese, OLVR here reminds us that sitting in a beach bar sipping a cool beer is a right to be enjoyed by all of us, Goths and vanillas alike. Not strictly Goth, but extra points for the pimp moustache.
Thought for the day: If I could have invented one thing, it would be the white plastic chair. They're everywhere. When the arockalypse comes, only cockroaches and white plastic chairs will remain.

51st Sweat

Thanks to: Michael Wilson

Gothiness: 4 Sweatiness: 7
Congratulations to young Michael for representing NMA amongst the Gallic hoards of the Cap D'Antibes - Cromwell himself would have been proud of your insistence on wearing 18-hole boots and combats with Wayfarers - a rare cosmopolitan touch for a Goth.