Thanks to Elvira
Gothiness: 7 Sweatiness: 6
Goth down! Goth down! In just minutes, David Hasslegoth and the Gothwatch rescuers will run onto the scene carrying revitalising bottles of Snakebite and some Gothasols. Let's hope they can survive the Daystar until then. They do, however, know the correct way to sunbathe a la Goth - as covered up as you can be, with a bag full of poetry and pseudo-intellectual books, presumably L’Étranger or À la Recherche du Temps Perdu. Minus points, however, for the white trainers. Poor show Gothette!
Side note: As a Didi-Goth I once took to a beach with some 'intellectual' reading in order to pull the clever totty (my favourite kind). I made two mistakes; firstly,the beach I was on was in Malia, Crete where the words 'clever' and 'totty' don't often mix; second, the book I chose was 120 Days of Sodom by the Marquis de Sade. Consequently I spent a week lying on a beach shouting "Oh God NO! He's doing what with a WHAT? And why are THEY standing over him?" To this day I am the only man ever to go to Malia and not pull.
Goths, I love 'em! I even used to be one for a bit (well, I was a Didi-Goth for at least 6 months). But there's one thing that troubles me about our cheery friends: what to do they do in summer? All that makeup, long black leather and rubber must get very sticky. I think we should show our respect for these poor unfortunates, struggling to stand out from the vanilla crowd despite blazing temperatures and sunshine that puts the rest of us in shorts and vest tops. Join me in celebrating the majesty of the Goth, who, eschewing any practicality whatever, still has the commitment to don a full length leather trenchcoat, stupid New Rock boots, and half a Superdrug counter of makeup. All hail the Hot Goth!
Goths in Hot Weather by Tom Lenham is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Non-Commercial-No Derivative Works 2.0 UK: England & Wales License. Based on a work at http://www.gothsinhotweather.com/. All other territories © Tom Lenham, all rights reserved.