Thanks to Dane Strychnine
Gothiness: 8 Sweatiness: 9
Make no mistake, mortal. These Dark Food Junkies aren't here for the quarterpounder - it's the ribs they want. YOURS! Yes, vanillas, tremble in fear as the proud MiseryGoths feast on your despair. Wisely, they're just in the shadow, away from the harm of the Daystar - but watch that one in the middle, she's got her eye on your chips! Note the futile attempts from other diners to look nonchalant whilst quaking in their flip-flops. Extra points awarded for the overload of makeup and straight-backed corsetry.
Goths, I love 'em! I even used to be one for a bit (well, I was a Didi-Goth for at least 6 months). But there's one thing that troubles me about our cheery friends: what to do they do in summer? All that makeup, long black leather and rubber must get very sticky. I think we should show our respect for these poor unfortunates, struggling to stand out from the vanilla crowd despite blazing temperatures and sunshine that puts the rest of us in shorts and vest tops. Join me in celebrating the majesty of the Goth, who, eschewing any practicality whatever, still has the commitment to don a full length leather trenchcoat, stupid New Rock boots, and half a Superdrug counter of makeup. All hail the Hot Goth!
Goths in Hot Weather by Tom Lenham is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Non-Commercial-No Derivative Works 2.0 UK: England & Wales License. Based on a work at http://www.gothsinhotweather.com/. All other territories © Tom Lenham, all rights reserved.