Gratuitous Hot Gothette

Merzbau, originally uploaded by nomad_fh.

To quote comic 'genius' Roy Chubby Brown; If this was my daughter I'd still be bathing her.

Wind Beneath My Wings

IMG_6548c, originally uploaded by A Girl Named Ruth ;o).

Well that's one way to keep cool Gothette!

Shot 18

Thanks again to Jenivere Stunt

Gothiness: 9  Sweatiness: 9

Jenivere comes up trumps once again with the extreme FMB / facepaint combo.  Not sure why she's holding a FUCKING GUN but I'm pretty certain the 'why the fuck are you making me do this' look she's giving the camera explains a lot.  Did I mention that she's holding a FUCKING GUN?

Thanks to Ryan Martin

Gothiness: 8  Sweatiness: 7
oh for a coconut to quell the dark waters of my soul!  This gothette is obviously living out her Lost fantasy by pretending to have washed up on a deserted shore with nothing but a Gothasol  and a coconut stand between her and the Dayster.  Oh the torment!

Race for Gothiness

Thanks again to Simon Lamrock

Gothiness: 10 Sweatiness: 10
Simon Lamrock writes "It's been a whole year since I spotted a goth in hot weather, then today I catch a whole tribe of them!" Well done Simon, glad to see the home team being spotted so well. And special congratulations to the gorgeous darklings of London Gothic for entering a charity race dressed in all that taffeta! The brightly coloured runner's numbers really set off the maroon and black, girls. Extra points too for the gothasol carriers, but hang on, what's that? White trainers? Disqualified!

Sidenote: the London Gothic girls did a great thing here - sponsor them at http://www.raceforlifesponsorme.org/londongothic

Gothic Charm School

Thanks to: escaflowne8

Gothiness: 9 Sweatiness: 8
escaflowne8 writes that this picture was taken "on a blazingly hot tea party picnic for the gothic charm school book release...feel free to poke all the fun you want." Well, escaflowne8, that would be entirely ungallant. But it's good to see that you've taken the Charm School commandments to heart.
Gothasol? Check. Top hat and ornate veil? Check. Expression that suggests someone out of shot has just painted a smile and a pair of comedy tits on your statue of Satan? Checkeddy-check-check!

Follow The Goth

Thanks to: Sophie Seeger

Gothiness: 8 Sweatiness: 4
Okay? Follow the Goth, keep your eyes on the Goth, I'm moving the Goth left, I'm moving the Goth right. Always keep your eyes on the Goth. Where will the Goth end up: left, right or middle? Have you kept your eyes on the Goth?

Okay? Where's the Goth?

Oh.

Goth Goth Revolution

Thanks to Alison Ehrick

Gothiness: 7 Sweatiness: 9
Goths and technology are natural friends, but this surely is a marriage made in hell. Walk through your local arcade, and perhaps you'll be lucky enough to witness the sight of two taffeta-clad Gothettes pounding away to their favourite Dark Tune (I didn't know Fields of the Nephilim was available as an option on these games). Dance, Gothy girls, dance!

UnHappy Meal

Thanks to Dane Strychnine

Gothiness: 8 Sweatiness: 9
Make no mistake, mortal. These Dark Food Junkies aren't here for the quarterpounder - it's the ribs they want. YOURS! Yes, vanillas, tremble in fear as the proud MiseryGoths feast on your despair. Wisely, they're just in the shadow, away from the harm of the Daystar - but watch that one in the middle, she's got her eye on your chips! Note the futile attempts from other diners to look nonchalant whilst quaking in their flip-flops. Extra points awarded for the overload of makeup and straight-backed corsetry.

Nobody puts Gothy in a corner!

Thanks to Samantha Blake

Gothiness: 4 Sweatiness: 6
BobyGoth here is clearly not enjoying her time at the Country Club with her folks. What she doesn't know is that Undead Patrick Swayze is just waiting to whisk her off to a secret underground world of Industrialist Grinding and Gothabilly Bumping. Wait till she learns the secret of the 'Stuck in my coffin' move!

p.s. if you don't know how to dance goth, you could a lot worse than follow the step by step education at Lilith Gallery, and especially for anyslyenchanter and Cristina Jiminez (amongst others), I proffer you this piece of Gothy Sexyback from Tank9:

Presidential Goth of Approval

Thanks to loads of people

Gothiness: 8 Sweatiness: 9
Yup, that's St Barack, and that's the Spanish PM, and those are his children. His totally, all out Goth-rocking progeny. As teenage Spaniards it is their duty (their DUTY I tell you) to dress this way. Next year they'll be taking a world tour of Goth heritage sites as part of a cultural exchange. They will bring delicious tapas and backpacks with cuddly bears on the zips, and we'll flog them dodgy bangles from Camden Market that make your skin go green.

Gothasol Love

Thanks to Chiaki Tani

Gothiness: 6 Sweatiness: 5
Chiaki Tani writes "That gothasol isn't going to do her any good; it's not sorrow-proof." I should hope not Chiaki! Sorrow is the the lifeblood of every good Darkling; almost as important as Snakebite & Black for extended poetry sessions and soul searching. Not that Goths have souls of course. As far as the Gothasol is concerned, there's no tool in the Goth arsenal more useful for steering clear of the dreaded Daystar, as Chuck here so amply demonstrates:


Gothiness: 9 Sweatiness:6
Don't be fooled by the pale colour of this Gothasol. Take a closer look. See? By the Power of Bauhaus, it's covered in COFFINS!!!

More from Cyril

Thanks to Olivia Gianelli

Gothiness: 8 Sweatiness: 8
I'm indebted to the young Olivia, who writes; "Just thought you might like a photo of me in my wedding dress braving the nasty burny thing in the sky. We chose to get married on the 21st March, it being the first day of spring we thought it was guaranteed to be either dull or raining (quite possibly both!) as we live in the north of England. However the traitorous weather left us hot sweaty and exhausted, although our guests seemed to enjoy the spectacle, non-goth softies the lot of them!" I feel your pain, Olivia - I and Mrs GIHW got married in Teesdale - a place guaranteed to give you murky overcast summers - in 42 degree heat. We then took our honeymoon in Paris, where 3000 people died of heatstroke in a week.

Goth Ahoy

Thanks to Stephanie Ford and Tommy B

Gothiness: 8 Sweatiness: 2
Avast ye! What lurks in yonder waves? 'Tis the Great Black Whale! Set a course for Martha's Harbour this instant! Their timbers may be shivering, but Nick Cave and Winona Ryder here are certainly flying the flag for Goth sailors everywhere.

Cor Blimey Gothy Poppins!

Thanks to Jillian Venters

Gothiness: 7 Sweatiness: 6
One of these ladies is a fully paid up Goth (the lovely author of Gothic Charm School, no less!). The other is Mary Poppins. They both look like they could use a drink.

Prairie Goth

Thanks to BloodyDoll (Flickr)

Gothiness: 8 Sweatiness: 6
Like a Goth version of a Windows wallpaper, BloodyDoll proudly tempts us to click around her desktop. Watch out though - treat her bad and you'll get the BSOD! (black screen of darkness in this case)

I deny thee, deckchair!

Gothiness: 4 Sweatiness: 6

Though clearly not yet fully initiated into the coven of Goth, this young lady is going the right away about spending time on the beach. There's a nice welcoming deckchair - does she sit on it? Does she buggery! She even has the good sense to stand on the only rock on the beach rather than risk getting sand in her Vans. Well done, madam.

Birthday Goth

Gothiness: 9 Sweatiness: 7

Birthday Goth and her boyfriend here were kind enough to actually pose when I accosted them in Whitby Beach, spiritual home of the Goth. A big expanse of beach, bright sunshine, donkey rides, everyone else in t-shirts, and these two don't just Goth out, they even have the attention to detail to make sure their plastic bags are black and purple! It takes a lot of work to find a shop that hands out purple plastic bags - fine work Gothette. She even represents when paddling. Mind you, the North Sea is bloody freezing.

Come Feast at the Bitter BBQ of Banishment

Thanks to Jason

Gothiness: 7 Sweatiness: 6
Take heed mortal, and fear my warning! Tear your eyes from the alluring glare of this Dark Temptress! Heed not the cool, refreshing can of beer and refuse the promise of delicious pre-prepared kebabs with artichoke hearts from M&S! You can plainly see there's nothing on this fire - like the Dread Pirate Roberts, this evil succubus waits to barbecue your SOOOUUUUULLLLL! Probably in a nice piri-piri sauce.

More Goth, vicar?

Grr!, originally uploaded by fuzzirella.

Gothiness: 7 Sweatiness: 4
Fuzzirella and her chums are making the most of their visit to Bat's Day. Clearly well versed in irony, these clever Gothettes manage to combine sullen loneliness with sitting in a giant spinning teacup. No easy feat, but watch those bare arms darklings - hopefully they're wearing factor 451.