At Home with the Gothasons

Gothiness: 6 Sweatiness:5
"Goodness dear, this garden's getting messy! Look at those Azalias, they're running wild."
"Like the torment in my soul, they grow through every space. Binding my waking thoughts with the dark matter of their misery, strangling the young shoots of my happiness in the tangleweed of despair. I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds."
"Yes dear. Oooh, is that the kettle boiling?"

the Goths on the bus go down down down

Thanks to Jaimz Asmundson

Goths! On The Bus! from Jaimz Asmundson on Vimeo.

Gothiness: 6 Sweatiness: 8

Jaimz here has channelled Bela Lugosi to great effect - a simple tale of two DoucheGoths on their way to the mall (or 'shops' as I like to call them), but the subtext! Oh the subtext! Pain, suffering, eternal damnation wrapped in velvety angst. I am Goth; Hear me Roar.

Dedication's what you need

lakebeachville9000, originally uploaded by pretty.kittens.

Gothiness: 4 Sweatiness: 9
So you're on a beach on lovely sunny day, surrounded by pretty ladies. Do you strip off to show your scrawny yet intellectual physique? Do you buggery! You sit there covered in as much black as possible to guarantee the Daystar doesn't infect you with it's joyful rays, discussing your latest epic poem documenting your Saturday job at Hot Topic. This is quite above and beyond the call of Chthulu duty. Top marks!

Gothasol Love

Thanks to Chiaki Tani

Gothiness: 6 Sweatiness: 5
Chiaki Tani writes "That gothasol isn't going to do her any good; it's not sorrow-proof." I should hope not Chiaki! Sorrow is the the lifeblood of every good Darkling; almost as important as Snakebite & Black for extended poetry sessions and soul searching. Not that Goths have souls of course. As far as the Gothasol is concerned, there's no tool in the Goth arsenal more useful for steering clear of the dreaded Daystar, as Chuck here so amply demonstrates:


Gothiness: 9 Sweatiness:6
Don't be fooled by the pale colour of this Gothasol. Take a closer look. See? By the Power of Bauhaus, it's covered in COFFINS!!!

Prairie Goth

Thanks to BloodyDoll (Flickr)

Gothiness: 8 Sweatiness: 6
Like a Goth version of a Windows wallpaper, BloodyDoll proudly tempts us to click around her desktop. Watch out though - treat her bad and you'll get the BSOD! (black screen of darkness in this case)

Come Feast at the Bitter BBQ of Banishment

Thanks to Jason

Gothiness: 7 Sweatiness: 6
Take heed mortal, and fear my warning! Tear your eyes from the alluring glare of this Dark Temptress! Heed not the cool, refreshing can of beer and refuse the promise of delicious pre-prepared kebabs with artichoke hearts from M&S! You can plainly see there's nothing on this fire - like the Dread Pirate Roberts, this evil succubus waits to barbecue your SOOOUUUUULLLLL! Probably in a nice piri-piri sauce.

Goth is the Loneliest Number

Thanks to Diane

Gothiness: 6 Sweatiness: 9
This trainee darkling is making his stand early in life - much to the derision of his school chums. What do THEY know, eh? Dressing in black PVC and covering yourself in makeup is SO going to make you popular. You really are different from the others. No, honestly, you really are. You're sensitive and interesting and you've got something to say that matters. Honest.

Sauna Suffering

Thanks to Åsa Jungar

Gothiness: 7 Sweatiness: 8
Sweden: home of the six foot blonde, and birthplace of the sauna. Odd, then, to see a bunch of Goths in a circle wearing Full Leather Jackets and chanting Wicca incantations. Well done to Asa and friends for showing such distain for the Daystar and risking sweaty oblivion, just so we can watch them prancing like tits. That Summer Solstice has a lot to answer for!
Edit: I've made a terrible error! I'm informed that Finland is the birthplace of the sauna. No matter, I'm sure those 6ft blonded Swedish types enjoy saunas as well. There's an image.

Van Helsing's Daughter

Thanks to: josiahduke.blogspot.com/

Gothiness: 8 Sweatiness: 7
It's all very well looking afraid, dear, but the sun isn't a vampire and no amount of sitting by a cross is keeping you shaded. What you need is a large hat, preferably with a black veil. Anyway, vampires are supposed to be your friends. I give you five minutes before your face is bright red. Then you'll really have something to look forlorn about.

Gothinson Crusoe

Thanks to Jon Yates

Gothiness: 5 Sweatiness: 7
Here we see a classic example of right idea, wrong execution. This young castaway attempts to write 'HELP' in the sand so that a passing plane might spot it and come to the rescue, but the Goth nature comes to the fore and instead all that comes out is some introspective naval gazing haiku element. You'll be waiting sometime for a refreshing Snakebite & Black young Darkling!

Gotheo and Juliet

Thanks to Jamie Bowen

Gothiness: 6 Sweatiness: 6
But soft, what light through yonder window breaks? It is the east and Juliet is the Daystar. Declarations of love are a beautiful thing - Gotheo here has braved the beach to write a transient amorous message in the sand, making sure to keep his head protected from the Daystar's powerful rays. But what's that? Bare arms? Bare bloody arms? Damn fool. By the time he's finished, his forearms will be so pink his body will look like a slice of Battenburg cake. And who wants to sleep with that? Fail.

Say 'cheese', think 'suffering'

Thanks to Roxanne Carter

Gothiness: 5 Sweatiness: 6
A Goth's favourite pursuit; subverting the traditional image of the happy family by adding suffering, in this instance forcing a family of DidiGoths to pose in the surf. Unfortunately the waves have washed away their lovingly created Sandcastle of Mordor.

Flock of SeaGoths

Goth Boy, originally uploaded by fluffy_steve.

Gothiness: 8 Sweatiness: 6
Congratulations, introspective young man, for braving the German sun in full velvet and leather! Extra points also for the briefcase full of poetry. Don't be fooled by the Emo glance, inside he's sunbathing.