Gothkini

Thanks to Anonymous

Gothiness: 8 Sweatiness: 9 (crotch area only)
Ladieeeeeez! Check out this Goth's cradle of filth! He's all man, and he's waiting to satisfy your every need - poetry, navel gazing, and Terry Pratchett discussion groups with dark sexual chocolate drops on top! Witness the muscular physique! Gasp at the bulging source of his power! Swoon at the bullet belt adorned cowboy boots! This, surely, is every Gothette's onanistic, narcissistic gothboy fantasy!
edit: What do you mean, no?

Gotheo and Juliet

Thanks to Jamie Bowen

Gothiness: 6 Sweatiness: 6
But soft, what light through yonder window breaks? It is the east and Juliet is the Daystar. Declarations of love are a beautiful thing - Gotheo here has braved the beach to write a transient amorous message in the sand, making sure to keep his head protected from the Daystar's powerful rays. But what's that? Bare arms? Bare bloody arms? Damn fool. By the time he's finished, his forearms will be so pink his body will look like a slice of Battenburg cake. And who wants to sleep with that? Fail.

Echo and the Bunnygoths

Thanks to Sue Carter Flinn

Gothiness: 6 Sweatiness: 7

God I miss the 80's. Campsites would allow you in with your pet Goth. Note the lack of irony in his pose - one arm folded, one leg bent in the 'inverse teapot' move made famous by Iain McCullogh.

Leather Lord

Thanks to Seth Reber

Gothiness: 9 Sweatiness: Off the scale

Seth writes; "Ever hear of Mandy Lion? Of course not but I thought I'd ask. Anyways this guy is infamous for walking around LA in 95 degree heat in full leather everything. Mandy claims he can control his sweat glands.." If you hadn't heard of Mandy Lion before, bow to his awesomeness. Then laugh and point behind his back when he goes back to the bar. Mandy, I salute you!

P.S. Mandy? But that's a girl's name?

Flock of SeaGoths

Goth Boy, originally uploaded by fluffy_steve.

Gothiness: 8 Sweatiness: 6
Congratulations, introspective young man, for braving the German sun in full velvet and leather! Extra points also for the briefcase full of poetry. Don't be fooled by the Emo glance, inside he's sunbathing.

Goth Spike Collapse

Gothiness: 3 Sweatiness: 10
Here a poor teenage Goth has realised that playing softball with his friends in the height of summer has made the huge spike on the front of his head collapse. Never mind, Goth Jr! Once you've unfolded those arms, you can write a poem about it. Near that satellite dish.
(edit: yes, technically this is a Juggalo. It still counts)

Morris Goths

Thanks to: Kjartan Poskitt (http://www.kjartan.co.uk/whitbygoths.htm)

Gothiness: 9 Sweatiness: 8
Must. Kill. Them. All. With. Bricks.