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Kick the Pain Away

Thanks to DeHuman8


Gothiness: 6 Sweatiness: 8
There's long been a terrible dearth of Goths in sport, who knows why? Maybe their darkness gives them an unfair psychological advantage over the opposition, maybe long poetry writing sessions render them useless to physical activity, maybe their minds are on higher things such as Snakebite & Black consumption. Whatever the reason, DeHuman8 and his dark followers are redressing that imbalance by braving the Daystar to reach the peak of Goth endurance: 90 minutes with no shade against the Grand Society of Water Rats All Star Charity and Daytime Chat Show Presenters Second 11. Watch out dark ones - that Phillip Schofield's a fouling bastard! Our Nightmare Team of choice has to be:
Attack: Astbury, Ian / McCulloch, Ian / Reznor, Trent
Midfield: Duffy, Billy / Sioux, Siouxsie / Sensible (Capt.)
Defence: Scabies, Rat / Murphy, Pete / Hussey, Wayne / Cave, Nick
Goal: Smith, Robert
Manager: Eldritch, Andrew
Injured: Edwards, Richey / Curbain, Kurt (on loan from Grunge United) / Curtis, Ian
Discuss...

14 comments:

  1. raygunrobot23 June 2009 at 13:19

    Capt. Sensible is far too cheery a guy to play on that team. Maybe you could get Trent Reznor to substitute?

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  2. Anonymous23 June 2009 at 15:10

    I couldn't agree more. I see Trent as midfield enforcer. And I'd have Pete Murphy and Jaz Coleman in there as well.

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  3. GothsInHotWeather23 June 2009 at 15:10

    I can't believe no-one got my Captain Sensible joke. I workshopped that joke for 6 months.

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  4. GothsInHotWeather23 June 2009 at 15:13

    All right, Reznor's in but only due to injury (not self-injury you understand, that would rule him out). We'll try him up front though, we need his speed to outpace Ricki Lake.

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  5. Sam23 June 2009 at 16:17

    LOL

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  6. Anonymous23 June 2009 at 17:40

    The Captain called. He said "Wot?"

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  7. Unknown24 June 2009 at 08:07

    Rozz Williams isn't on the "injured" list?

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  8. Unknown1 July 2009 at 20:56

    I got your "sensible" joke (and I chuckled), but I'd have put "Sensible, Capt (capt.)" personally. You have to really hammer the joke home sometimes, I find.

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  9. Anonymous3 July 2009 at 11:20

    this is the first time I've ever laughed at a Richey joke! thanks x

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  10. Anonymous9 July 2009 at 13:51

    Eldritch managing Hussey? I sense trouble brewing. They'll only play one album... erm, fixture... with that lineup.

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  11. Dave20 July 2009 at 14:27

    I once saw Smith, Robert playing football with his,umm, "roadies" in New Zealand. I also sat near Siouxsie on the 227 bus, but that is just gratuitous name dropping and nothing to do with football.

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  12. Anonymous24 July 2009 at 21:41

    Must....join...goth....soccer...uh....league. (sorry, the thumbnails slowed me down)...

    Soooo...um...edgy? lol.

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  13. Anonymous14 August 2009 at 18:32

    LOL. That's kickball at Goth Fly-a-kite! Even wussier than soccer.

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  14. Anonymous24 May 2010 at 01:08

    A lack of goths in sport? You clear have never heard of roller derby.

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Thanks for your comment Goth lover!