Goth Classification



Many of our beloved colonial cousins have asked "What is a Didi-Goth?" The excellent vampirefreaks.com has a run-down of the main Goth classes here, but they do seem to miss the definition of a Didi-Goth. I've found the original interpretation:

Didi-Goth  /gɒθ/ [after Diddy]–noun
1. one of a Teutonic people who in the 3rd to 5th centuries invaded and settled in parts of the Roman Empire, but left after two weeks as their visa had expired.
2. a young or fledgling Goth, too depressed to consider him/herself part of the rest of school, but too happy to become full immersed in Goth culture. Writes particularly awful poetry, usually about how no-one understands them, or why the boy in Year 12 won't snog them.

Origin:
bef. 900; ME Gothe (after G. Chaucer): "There was a Wif of Bathe, she was-a gat toothed and prood, black did she wear, and depressive; yet Goth she was-a not, morever a Didi, owning nought but one Cure album, and that alone being a Greateste-Hits."
(Note: best read in Chaucerian English for full effect; if you are unfamiliar with the style then I commend Bill Bailey to you.

Mora's Beach Party

Gothiness: Off the scale Sweatiness: 7
All right, maybe more psychobilly / horror rock / something I'm too old to have heard of than Goth, but definitely trippy. And check out the wheels! Prizes for anyone who can tell me what the fuck the plot is about.

Goths! On a beach!

Thanks to Sharon Ortiz
Gothiness: 9 Sweatiness: 3
OK firstly, this is half an hour long, so only watch the first minute, unless you're genuinely interested in it (I'm going to bet you get at least 8 minutes in). Secondly - Goths! On a beach! In Gothy swimwear! Cover yourself up darklings!

Now I know what the advertising copywriter for Yahoo! feels like.

Welcome to the jungle

Thanks to Star Kat (again)
Gothiness: 4 Sweatiness: 5
So Star Kat here is wearing shorts. So what? She's allowed to wear shorts when she's representing in the JUNGLE isn't she? Word to the motherfather, she is. She fancied a one to one with Predator just to see if he was as tough as they say, but it turns out he's gone so far downhill even Adrian Brody can take him now, and Adrian Brody's about as tough as my niece. Anyway, I digress, Star Kat is showing dedication to the Dark cause here, so I salute her. Unless this photo was taken in Kew Gardens, in which case she's a filthy cheat.

Dance, Gothy boy, dance!

Thanks to Star Kat

Sweatiness: 4 Gothiness: 6
All right, so they're only pretending to be goth. OR ARE THEY?

Grave Sweats

Thanks to Elzabi
Gothiness: 8 Sweatiness: 6

Elzabi writes "This photo may not look particularly sweaty, but a friend accidentally planned a goth-graveyard-picnic on the hottest day of last summer. I learned a valuable lesson that day which I would like to share with your readers: don't wear a corset in hot weather, breathing is necessary even if you think you're undead."

Bathing Beauties

BathingBeauties_01, originally uploaded by Ashbet.

Gothiness: 6 Sweatiness: 3

Ashbet has come up trumps again with these two Dark Delights defying the Daystar for our benefit. I am, however, concerned for their flagrant disregard for local community legislation by choosing to bathe in what is clearly a municipal fountain. Hopefully they'll blind any passing community support police officers with the reflection from their pasty white skin.

Winona paddles in misery

goth in hot weather, originally uploaded by chelgreen.

Gothiness: 6 Sweatiness: 5
Winona Ryder has been caught on camera again, this time giving us an insight into her preparations for her next role; that of a grumpy sodding gothette, tormented by her hatred of society and anachronistic existence, yet strangely drawn to her neighbour who's got a pool and can borrow the car anytime he likes. He's already offered to be the getaway driver next time she goes for a five finger discount.

Golden Hour Goths

Thanks to Dave LeClair
Gothiness: 10 Sweatiness: 8
Seattle; the epicentre of Goth. This gaggle of Darklings were spotted sneaking out just as the Daystar was on the wane, but not so late as to require the wearing of lace eyepatches (new fashion alert! Lace over the eyes is SO on trend darling!). I notice, too the copious wearing of black sports gear, cleverly subverting the accepted image of track stars and athletes and juxtaposing it with black lipstick and, erm, a drum cymbal. Not sure why she's holding that. Mind you, I was never very good with cymbalism... sorry. Satan Loves You? He's not the only one, baby!

hosting disaster

Hopefully you've found me back here - well done if you have! I seem to have lost my domain url thanks to Blogger's frankly useless hosting service that doesn't tell you it's time to renew, and then doesn't give you any way at all to pay for another year without having a godaddy account number, which was never given in the first place. Now it seems the domain has been bought by another gothlover (or cybersquatting corporate bastard, one of the two). Hopefully I'll have the old site back up soon, in the meantime if anyone knows how to rescue an expired blogger domain name, please let me know!
Creative Commons License Goths in Hot Weather by Tom Lenham is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Non-Commercial-No Derivative Works 2.0 UK: England & Wales License. Based on a work at http://www.gothsinhotweather.com/. All other territories © Tom Lenham, all rights reserved.